OMG serious hiatus, I'm so sorry I haven't posted anything in such a long time, but I'll update you guys on whats happening.
So school started again so i've been busy with that, which means, my sugar hunt isn't going very well, I still have a SD that's still texting me here and there, but he's kinda iffy.. he says things like, "hey, how are you? you wanna go to dinner tomorrow night?" uhm... lol I have a life too.. this is the same one that I mentioned earlier that was hanging out with playmates..
But, the good news, well kind of.. lol, this is a little peek into my personal life, so read whatever is below if you want to, if not, its not really related to sugar life, so to those of you who chose not to read, thanks for still continuing to follow me, I appreciate it <3
K, I need to vent, like bad.. so I know I haven't ever mentioned my love life in addition to my sugar life, or lack there of lmao. I'm stressed out of my mind but so damn happy at the same time, a few of you girlies and gentlemen are on my sugar facebook and may be aware that I am not single... I WAS engaged, not anymore.. I was with this guy, we'll call him Josh, for the longest time, we're talking like 5 years. I thought I was in love with him.. but now, I think I just love him and care for him as I would a best friend.
Damn.. there's so much to say but i'll try and keep it short. So, I think I've lost that spark for him and I have this other friend, he's been my best friend since grade 9 high school, he's always been there for me, and I've always thought he was a cutie patootie, and I never thought I'd ever feel much more than that.. yeap, you guys guessed it, I'm falling for him.
We'll call my best friend Rob lol. I'm putting my sugar hunt on hold right now because i'm trying to sort out all these thoughts and emotions I have for this guy, and to say the least, it's draining all of me.. I'm trying to figure out, should I leave Josh, whom I've been with forever, and choose Rob whom I've always loved as a best friend.. or stay with Josh and always have these feelings for Rob.. ughh damnit. It'll be easy if Josh was an asshole, but he's not. K, a little background on both these guys..
Josh
-he's caring
-he's loving
-he has no ambitions or drive for anything
-works
-has a car (shitty 97 pathfinder)
-very routine
-takes his frustrations and anger out on me, even if I'm the one trying to help
-most of the time, is in a sucky crappy mood, which I have to deal with
-ignorant, and likes to think he's right all the time and he doesn't listen to anyone else
-stubborn, in a very bad way
-no chivalry what so ever
-7 years older than me
-bad at saving his money and is broke most of the time
[Don't get me wrong, I'm not high maintenance, but I would like to be treated like a lady once in a while)
Rob (oh how I love this kid)
-same age as me
-has 2 jobs
-cares for me
-loves me, currently a little more than a friend
-has goals, ambition and drive for better things in life
-an absolute sweetheart
-considers my feelings 24/7
-can carry a conversation
-has a car (03' cobra)
-saves his money, never broke (I know he can provide for me)
[I don't plan on making this a SD and SB relationship, I truly care for this guy]
I guess that spark in my relationship with Josh was gone long ago but I stayed for security, I KNOW him, and I KNOW I won't get hit in the face by anything that would hurt me. I've always had a thing for Rob, and I never was sure what it was, even though I was with Josh, I would still hold hands, link arms and hug Rob for a longer amount of time than what is expected of 2 friends.
*sigh* The other thing is that Rob and I have the same group of friends, and our main group consists of Rob and I, this other girl we'll call Cassie and this other guy we'll call Tom. I never suspected or knew Cassie likes Rob.. but ever since she started suspecting something was going on with Rob and I, I could sense there was something bugging her. Not to mention she read a text msg on Rob's phone which I had sent him that pretty much spoke for itself and she had asked him what was going on with us and he replied with, "she's just joking with me." (we're trying to keep it on the down low until it's official) Anyhow, today I was talking to Rob on the phone and apparently Cassie talked to Rob earlier on the phone and was asking him if him and I did anything, and he answered no, (to be honest, we did) and she goes on about how he "should have known, she was saving herself for him, she said she was waiting for him"... which I think she's serious about but he thinks she's joking.
Now, Rob and I are considering becoming an item but we're taking it slow, and we're expecting some sort of backlash from Cassie and Tom (Tom likes to tease, all in good nature of course but gets quite annoying, Cassie I have a feeling just won't be happy with this).
So now, my decision is, wtf do I do?!?!? I'm on a break with my ex fiance, and he has no clue whats going on but we decided that for now, we can see other people if we choose to. Now it boils down to, who do I choose? damnit, suggestions and advice are welcome! I need help, and Jesus lmaoo
